A Little More Social

There is a paradox at the core of human life. We are a highly social species uniquely equipped to connect with other people, and doing so is better for us. Yet we so often choose to be unsocial. We avoid talking to the stranger who sits next to us. We struggle to move beyond small talk with an acquaintance. We are reluctant to express our gratitude to people we appreciate.

Every day, we avoid opportunities to connect with strangers, neighbors, colleagues, friends, and family. By missing those moments, we miss out on all the benefits of a more social life—one that is happier and healthier for everyone.

University of Chicago psychologist and author of Mindwise, Nicholas Epley, has spent his career studying the way we connect, and he has found that our social fears often keep us from reaching out. But Epley shows us how to seize the small moments with insights such as:

Social connection is a choice we make based on expectations about how others will respond to us—expectations that tend to be overly pessimistic. Introverts and extroverts alike benefit from choosing to be a little more social. Mistaken expectations can cause us to avoid interacting in ways that create strong connections—such as having a conversation—in favor of less satisfying interactions—such as social media or texting.

While many books promise one big fix, making a habit of small connections is much more likely to improve your life.