Ludmila's Broken English

On a Tuesday in terror-struck London, Blair and Bunny Heath become the first adult conjoined twins ever successfully separated. On a Tuesday in the war-torn Caucasus, Ludmila Derev accidentally kills her grandfather. By December, they find themselves trudging together through a snow field, staring down the barrel of a rebel's gun.

Ludmila sets out on a journey west to save her family from starvation and marauding Gnez troops. Hers is an odyssey of sour wit, even sourer vodka, and a Soviet tractor probably running on goat's piss. The Heath twins are released from a newly privatized institution rumored to have been founded for an illegitimate royal baby. They are plunged into a round-the-clock world churning with opportunity, rowdy with the chatter of freedom, self-empowerment, and sex. Dangerous cocktails and a Russian Brides Web site throw these unforgettable characters together with explosive results.